A Dogfight
Uncle Sam and Osama decided to settle the whole war with a dogfight. They would each have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog and whoevers dog won would dominate the world. Osama found the meanest Doberman breed in the world and bred them with the meanest wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog ever. When the day came for the big dogfight, Uncle Sam showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9-foot long Dachshund. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of its cage and slowly waddled over toward Osamas dog. Osamas dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American dog--but when it got close to the American dog, the Dachshund opened its mouth and ate Osamas dog whole. Osama said, We dont understand how this could have happened, we had our best people working for 5 years with the meanest dogs and the meanest wolves. Uncle Sam said, Thats nothing, we had our best plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weenie dog.
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a. shed tears because of sadness, rage, or pain
b.group of baby animals that a mother gives birth to at the same time
c.微小的, 细小的
d.to control someone or something or to have more importance than other people or things
e.to walk with short steps, with your body moving from one side to another - used especially about people or birds with fat bodies and short legs
f.a doctor who does operations in a hospital
g.if an animal snarls, it makes a low angry sound and shows its teeth
h.a large animal with a long mouth and tail and sharp teeth that lives in the hot wet parts of the US and China
i.a young dog
j.unhappy, especially because something unpleasant has happened
k.to keep animals or plants in order to produce babies or new plants, especially ones with particular qualities
参考译文:
美国人和阿富汗人决定进行一场狗狗大战。他们有五年的时间来培育出最好的狗并且谁的狗赢了谁就统治世界。阿富汗人找来世界上最好的杜宾犬与最凶狠的狼杂交。他们只从每窝中选最大最强壮幼犬。五年后，养出了最大最凶猛的狗。比赛的日子到了，美国人牵出一只奇怪的动物。这是一个九尺长的德国猎犬。笼子门一开，德国猎犬慢悠悠地爬向阿富汗的狗，阿富汗狗大吼一声窜出笼子直扑美国狗，但刚靠近，德国猎犬张开嘴把它整个吞了下去。阿富汗人说：我们不理解这是为什么，我们用最好的人五年杂交最凶猛的狗和狼。美国人说：没用的，我们让最好的外科整形医生工作五年让鳄鱼看起来像小狗。