Our children will always know whether they have our full attention. Its time for parents to break the phone habit before its too late.
There was something to be said for the old-fashioned landline, with a handset so bulky, you had to tuck it between your neck and shoulder to get your hands free. They didnt couldnt go everywhere with us. Now were tethered to our mobiles addicted, even. Theyve become handy tools for avoidance, and its our children who are getting the bad end of the deal.
All around me, I see parents with their babies and toddlers and young kids but not with them. The grownups are on the phone. The dad pushing his son on the swing set while hands-free on his mobile isnt really with his child. The mom pushing her baby in a pram while shes yakking on the phone isnt really with her child.
The kids arent too happy about it. Theyre pulling on their parents clothes. Theyre yanking on their arms. Theyre acting out to get attention. Ive heard them begging their parents to stop, disconnect. Ive watched children start to whimper the minute the mobile is picked up off the dinner table. During dinner. The son of a friend of mine recently announced, at age 10, that he hates cell phones. Actually, he will tell you he hates technology. IPads dont fool him. Neither does texting. He understands that his father can never get away from his work and the office wont get away from his father. He sees the phone, and he thinks, Ive lost my dads attention. And thats what children crave: attention. We all do.
Parents have to break the phone habit before it is too late. Im not talking about getting extreme here no phone calls around a child, ever. But I am talking about giving more thought to all the missed opportunities for communicating with a child. For simply being with her. Quietly. I was pleased to find the blog of a young mother from Alabama, Rachel Stafford, who has started an aptly titled campaign called Hands Free Mama, encouraging parents to put away the tech toys and be present with their children.
Is being a parent boring? Sometimes. Lots of times. And guess what. Those boring moments are what you will miss the most once your children are grown. Carpool is when you should be hanging on every word. Walks are when the world unfolds at a childs feet, in the safety of your company. The parent is the genius who gives names to things and encourages a childs attention to detail on the path. The tiny accretion of daily routines is dull and divine. Of course theres always plenty of time for a phone call, or 10 of them. Children are always slowly walking, slowly eating, slowly looking, slowly reading, slowly going nowhere, until suddenly theyre gone.
And giving the kids their own phones in the name of fair play doesnt cut it. Thats happening all too often; families are together, but each person is in her own bubble of technology. Some of us worry about radiation and the developing brain. But we should be worried about disconnectedness and the developing mind.
One day, sooner than you realize, you will be with your child, wanting to talk. But shell be too busy. Talking to someone who isnt there. And why not? You werent there when she was.
【重点单词及短语】
swing set （组合）秋千
pull on 拉；穿；戴
act out 把表演出来；把付诸行动
divine adj. 神圣的；非凡的；天赐的；极好的
Question time:
1. Does the author urge parents to get rid of cell phones completely?
2. Can you summarize the damages of parents using of cell phones according to the passage?