下面是一篇学生写的SAT作文,这是2006年10月的SAT作文真题,文章题目是Is it necessary to question the authority?作者写的是关于黑人争夺民权的问题,就此我们考虑文章中要细化的内容。
Authority--- who? 本文是the white people
Question the authority--- why? How?
Result ---
学生文章分析
这道SAT作文真题的开头段:
1Every person makes mistakes, as well as the authority. 2Thats why it is important to insist your own idea when authority is wrong. 3Development of peoples society is usually associated with challenging the authority.
问题:句一太松散;句二词组误用,缺定冠词;句三和句二之间有些跳跃,意思上理解应该是挑战权威的结果;首段缺少明确的观点和对下文的提示。
修改:1 I cannot agree more with the saying, 2for the authority, like common people, are likely to make mistakes or act unreasonably on some occasions. 3At that moment, the public is supposed to, at the risk of offending the authority, insist on his own belief for the further development of the society. 4Next I will take the example of __Rosa Park_____ to illustrate/substantiate my point.
开头段要素:1.回答问题,2、3 解释为什么是这个答案,4.结构提示,下面举什么例子。
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